This, too, shall pass. Well, maybe not.
Just over a year ago, my husband took me to New Orleans for a surprise anniversary trip. I had never been and we were only going for the weekend, so I decided that we would need to average about 46.279 tourist stops a day to cram in a small portion of what I wanted to do down there. It was Friday night, so I figured Bourbon Street would be a great place to hang out. Saturday morning I wanted to wake up early and try this charming cafe that sold beignets. We got off the plane, checked into our hotel, and my downward spiral began. I felt like someone had attached a vacuum to me and sucked out all of my energy. Just moving was an almost insurmountable task. To be fair, I work nights, so I assumed I was just a little "off". No big deal. Bourbon Street would still be there tomorrow. We didn't wake up quite as early as I planned, but we still made it for my beignets. Holy moly. Well worth the trip!
We managed to do a couple of things here and there, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. The kicker, my friends, came Sunday morning. My husband and I have slightly different memories of how the morning played out. He remembers suggesting a leisurely stroll through the French Quarter. I remember him suggesting we walk 64 miles. At one point, we stopped at a beautiful park. I sat down on a park bench in the warm sun, and pleaded with my husband- tears in my eyes and all- to please just let me take a 20 minute nap on the bench. It seemed so very reasonable to me, but the appalled look on his face suggested that he didn't see it the same way. On the plane ride home I decided to face the facts- something was very wrong.
I decided to see a doctor. Or rather, my favorite nurse practitioner. In the week leading up to my appointment, I slept. All night. All day. I woke up for some meals, not all. I went to work. And that. Was. It. So by the time I saw the NP who suggested that I might have fibromyalgia, I wasn't all that surprised. She ordered lab work and set me up with an appointment for a rheumatologist the next day. Sure enough, it was fibro. I know what some of you are thinking: "what about the widespread pain? How did that not tip you off?" Friends, here's another secret. Nurses suck as patients. If you tell a nurse your stomach bothers you, they start a checklist in their head, comparing symptoms, alleviating/aggravating factors, etc. If a nurse's stomach bothers them, they know exactly what it is. Nothing. Widespread pain? Of course. I have 3 kids. I work nights. Our mattress is old. I was working on the kitchen yesterday. The list (excuses) goes on. I once wrenched my ankle, sent my husband to CVS to get an aircast, and proceeded to work for the next 6 weeks with it. The x-ray showed no breaks so I was fine. Except, the x-ray didn't show that I had ripped 2/3 of my ligaments off the bone and bruised the bone on the other side so badly that 3 months later you could still see it on the MRI. So when I tell you that I am super good at ignoring pain, you can take that to the bank.
I have finally met a pain I can't ignore. It has gotten progressively worse since my initial diagnosis. Most days I feel like I just got out of the dryer after a couple of cycles with an old pair of work boots clanging around in there with me. I'm on all sorts of medications which really only work enough to keep me just this side of living. Thankfully, my family has taken it all in stride. They are quite adept at determining what I need on any given day. And my youngest? He can brew a cup of coffee like nobody's business! I tell the others it's because he makes it with love. I tried to play on their natural competitiveness to get them to work on their skills. They were not fooled.
So to any of you living with chronic pain, I salute you. And I support you. Because we need all of the support we can get.Maybe on this journey together we'll come across some great tips, therapies, etc. But even if we don't, it's a good place to cry in our beers!
We managed to do a couple of things here and there, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. The kicker, my friends, came Sunday morning. My husband and I have slightly different memories of how the morning played out. He remembers suggesting a leisurely stroll through the French Quarter. I remember him suggesting we walk 64 miles. At one point, we stopped at a beautiful park. I sat down on a park bench in the warm sun, and pleaded with my husband- tears in my eyes and all- to please just let me take a 20 minute nap on the bench. It seemed so very reasonable to me, but the appalled look on his face suggested that he didn't see it the same way. On the plane ride home I decided to face the facts- something was very wrong.
I decided to see a doctor. Or rather, my favorite nurse practitioner. In the week leading up to my appointment, I slept. All night. All day. I woke up for some meals, not all. I went to work. And that. Was. It. So by the time I saw the NP who suggested that I might have fibromyalgia, I wasn't all that surprised. She ordered lab work and set me up with an appointment for a rheumatologist the next day. Sure enough, it was fibro. I know what some of you are thinking: "what about the widespread pain? How did that not tip you off?" Friends, here's another secret. Nurses suck as patients. If you tell a nurse your stomach bothers you, they start a checklist in their head, comparing symptoms, alleviating/aggravating factors, etc. If a nurse's stomach bothers them, they know exactly what it is. Nothing. Widespread pain? Of course. I have 3 kids. I work nights. Our mattress is old. I was working on the kitchen yesterday. The list (excuses) goes on. I once wrenched my ankle, sent my husband to CVS to get an aircast, and proceeded to work for the next 6 weeks with it. The x-ray showed no breaks so I was fine. Except, the x-ray didn't show that I had ripped 2/3 of my ligaments off the bone and bruised the bone on the other side so badly that 3 months later you could still see it on the MRI. So when I tell you that I am super good at ignoring pain, you can take that to the bank.
I have finally met a pain I can't ignore. It has gotten progressively worse since my initial diagnosis. Most days I feel like I just got out of the dryer after a couple of cycles with an old pair of work boots clanging around in there with me. I'm on all sorts of medications which really only work enough to keep me just this side of living. Thankfully, my family has taken it all in stride. They are quite adept at determining what I need on any given day. And my youngest? He can brew a cup of coffee like nobody's business! I tell the others it's because he makes it with love. I tried to play on their natural competitiveness to get them to work on their skills. They were not fooled.
So to any of you living with chronic pain, I salute you. And I support you. Because we need all of the support we can get.Maybe on this journey together we'll come across some great tips, therapies, etc. But even if we don't, it's a good place to cry in our beers!
i'm sorry :( i didn't realize that this was an all of a sudden thing. :( hugs
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, it was building up for awhile. I chose to ignore it until I couldn't.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog when I was on Fibro Warriors or another Facebook page. I was diagnosed with fibro four years ago at Mayo. But I've learned that avoiding sugar, gluten, wheat, and all processed foods makes an impact on me. Getting enough sleep is critical (but not easy). Vitamin D supplements, digestive enzymes, and probiotics are essential. And now I've just learned more than ever before. Have you ever read: THE FIBRO MANUAL by Ginevra Liptan, M.D.? She has fibro, and I seriously think she knows more on the topic than anyone. I just bought a copy on Amazon for $12 because I couldn't mark up the library copy. LOTS of tips in it. CBD oil is an option for pain that I hadn't considered previously. Feel free to reach out on Instagram (annstone03) if you ever need support or empathy!
ReplyDeleteI've been slowly trying to change my diet, starting with gluten. But as an avid donut eater, it's not easy! I've heard great things about CBD oil and may have to try it. Being a nurse though, I worry that as soon as I try it, there'll be a random drug screen. Some girls just have all the luck. I've been on vitamin D supplements almost since the beginning. It seems my level was close to non existent. Although now I hear they are researching links into low magnesium levels as well. I'll have to take a peek at that book. Perhaps some light reading for a flare up day, lol. Thank you so much for your support and please know that you can turn here for the same! Happy belated fibro day!
ReplyDeleteWendy