Quick! Write this down!

I swear I'm having a Sean Spicer kind of day. I don't often draw parallels to him (actually, I've NEVER found common ground with him). But this whole password fetish in America is getting out of hand. I'm happy if I remember to eat lunch. Now everywhere I go wants a password. This one wants a certain set of requirements. This site here has different password criteria. Too long. Too short. You need a capitol letter. No, not that one. Try again. That password is already taken. You need a symbol. No, there's no middle finger emojis allowed as your symbol. Don't use birthdays, pet names, star constellation cordinations, or anything else you might reasonably have a chance of remembering. By the time you find a bloody password that is acceptable, you've long since forgotten what your last attempt was! There's something to be said for live tweeting your passwords in the hopes that someone, somewhere can access your freaking Snapchat account! Even if I remember the password long enough to write it down, you can rest assured that I certainly won't remember where I put the paper.
Oh, but we're forgetting the best passwords of all. Work passwords. You betcha. Work passwords come in two flavors: the kind they give you, and the kind you make up. Neither works out too hot for me. Randomly assigned passwords at least take the anxiety out of having to be found acceptable under the eyes of the password Gods. Little known fact: When they randomly assign you a password, I'm pretty sure they change it for your first 3 log in attempts just so you don't start feeling all smug about your password savviness. Then there's the one you choose. Usually, they tell you a couple of log ins in advance to allow the pressure to build. Remember, most computers have cameras these days. Somewhere in a back office is an IT guy with a package of Snackwells watching the beads of sweat starting to form on your brow. The first 4 attempts never count. The computer is programmed to automatically flag them as unworthy. The 5th attempt is one that you have already used. Yeah, THEY can remember my passwords. YOU know you don't have time for this. THEY know you don't have time for this. Still, they persist. Try again. Try again. It's not until you are swimming in sweat and sobbing uncontrollably that they finally capitulate and allow your selection to pass muster. You feel like you've finished a marathon. (Disclaimer: I don't know what it feels like to run a marathon. My longest run was when the skunk out back was chasing me).
Phew. Safe for another 3 months. Now where did I put that paper?

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