No Soup For You!

So I'm back to my all time favorite task since starting this blog: researching what I'm doing. Throughout my studies one fact becomes glaringly more obvious with every article I read. I have created a Seinfeld blog. That's right. A blog about nothing. Nothing I tell you. All of the information out there tells you how to promote your business through your blog. I have no business. My blog is simply to entertain you all. I'm like a bard. Or perhaps more accurately, a court jester. I'm not trying to promote my fortune 500 company or show off a new product we've just developed here at headquarters. I'm certainly not trying to educate anyone. In fact, I'd like to add a disclaimer here that if you have learned anything, it was purely accidental and not intended. Furthermore, it might be best if you attempt to unlearn anything you accidentally did learn in the reading of said non educational posts.
These professionals suggest informative graphics, guest speakers and panels of experts. What experts would I call upon? I literally have articles - plural - about shit. I've tried not to include colored pictures and informative graphs for those posts. Apparently I should be linking back to specialists to provide you all with more research on the topic. I should ask compelling questions to engage you and get you to leave your comments here. Or perhaps your own pictures and pie charts. "Tell me about a time you had a similar experience." Let it not be said I didn't listen to the advice on the internet, though. A Pie Chart:
By God, we're looking professional now! The numbers are made up and the information is irrelevant, but that's beside the point.
Another great suggestion offered is word count. It seems I should be shooting for 2,000 or more words to optimize my search engine hits. Really? Do you know how many pages that is? Like, 4. I looked it up. 4 pages of nonsense. The last time I did that was in school when we all learned how to play with fonts to make them look normal, when in actuality we were stretching the pages out. I had a mythology class that I wrote 20 pages on the symbolism found in 2 pages of James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. I am not going to be attempting those kind of shenanigans in my free time, no matter how much I love you all.
So I guess what we're left with is the knowledge that this blog is just going to be its own thing. It clearly doesn't fit into the mold of the rest of the ones out there according to the self proclaimed experts. As long as it entertains you all though, I'll have met my goal. By all means though, feel free to leave your comments and stories here so as to "engage" with these posts!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This, too, shall pass. Well, maybe not.

Just over a year ago, my husband took me to New Orleans for a surprise anniversary trip. I had never been and we were only going for the weekend, so I decided that we would need to average about 46.279 tourist stops a day to cram in a small portion of what I wanted to do down there. It was Friday night, so I figured Bourbon Street would be a great place to hang out. Saturday morning I wanted to wake up early and try this charming cafe that sold beignets. We got off the plane, checked into our hotel, and my downward spiral began. I felt like someone had attached a vacuum to me and sucked out all of my energy. Just moving was an almost insurmountable task. To be fair, I work nights, so I assumed I was just a little "off". No big deal. Bourbon Street would still be there tomorrow. We didn't wake up quite as early as I planned, but we still made it for my beignets. Holy moly. Well worth the trip! We managed to do a couple of things here and there, but not nearly as much as I
Read more

All the Better to See You With

Image
Yesterday I went for an eye exam at my local Lens Crafters. I now remember one of the reasons why I haven't been in years. We got there early to fill out paperwork. Luckily, we were early enough to hold the seats in the waiting room down for awhile as well. Fast forward to actually meeting with the doctor. I understand not everyone has a keen sense of humor, but this doctor was special. She started by asking what brought me in. I explained that I was having increased difficulty seeing distances as I was driving and I was having problems reading tiny print. She ingratiated herself to me by reminding me that "once you pass the age of 40, your vision starts to age as well." Now, I know this. Everybody knows this. The issue is, I like the idea of seeing. The appointment continued. She did all the typical eye doctor shenanigans, then concluded with the image killer: you could benefit from bifocals. I can wander around all day long without glasses and I haven't bumped into
Read more

What's a sit up?

Image
Today, I learned the true definition of love. Not that Romeo and Juliet crap my daughter has recently tried selling us all on. I'm talking hard-core, unconditional love. You know, like the kind a mother has for her child. You may recall I told you my youngest was going to be playing Pop Warner football in the fall? Well starting in August he begins strength and conditioning. In his previous sporting endeavors, he's been more interested in the playing side than the practice and drill sessions. My older son is the opposite; complaining if he doesn't get a balance of play time and practice/coaching time. In an effort to try and make this sport work for him, I've come to realize that he will need to be comfortable with the sheer physicality that will be required for him to get through August. So today, I started training with him. Actually, training may be an overly generous term for our sessions. Having no real idea what his "strength and conditioning" might act
Read more