My Maniacal Misfit Menagerie

I knew what kind of day it was going to be at 4 o'clock this morning. Winnie had just crawled back into bed with us and began her routine of getting as close as possible. Just as I noticed a certain odor, a wet paw stepped on my face. Because apparently, some days you step in shit, some days it steps on you. So at 4 o'clock in the morning, I'm in the bathroom giving an angry cat a bath. Ever give a cat a bath? I recommend it at least once before you die. Everyone believes the propaganda that cats have 4 legs. Little known fact: cats are gremlins. That's right. Watch what happens next time you get one wet. First of all, they sprout way more than 4 legs. Each tiny precious kitten foot sheds its retractable nail and is replaced with razor blades. The time/space continuum loses its fluidity; allowing the cat to be simultaneously attacking your arm, wrapped around your face, and half way down your shirt all at the same time. The darling animal you've invited into your ho...

For those of you who follow regularly, you'll be surprised to discover that this post is about Winnie. I know, I know; I hardly ever talk about her. It seems oddly fitting that the member of the family who seems to require the most attention daily should develop her own online following. This blog was never meant to be about her daily antics, and yet it seems to be evolving that way, with other random posts thrown in for good measure. So as previously stated in other posts, Winnie likes to watch the hummingbirds. And she thinks she's a husky. And she likes to spend many of her waking hours at my side. So I suppose we really all should have seen this coming. With the nice weather, I've been trying to spend as much time as humanly possible outside. Since my vitamin D levels are always so low, I like to say it's doctor ordered. "Sorry, I want to clean the house today, but it's nice out. I should hang out on the patio and sunbathe. Doctor's orders." ...

I suppose sooner or later it would come out that I am mildly obsessed with hummingbirds. An impartial observer may say that my obsession is a little bit more than "mild" but we just won't conduct any polls on the matter. I will say that one of our family trips a couple of years ago involved flying out to Arizona for a hummingbird festival. I even got to cross an item off my bucket list - hold a hummingbird in the palm of my hand. I still say that doesn't make me obsessed. It just makes me passionate. Ooh, wait. Interesting. It makes me interesting! This really all started when I was much younger. Before I had ever even seen an actual hummingbird. I have no idea how it all began. I just remember being fascinated by their diminutive size and their unique flight patterns. By the time I hit my mid twenties, I had experienced an occasional sighting here and there. I vowed if I ever had my own home, I would make it a hummingbird mecca. Think "if you build it, they...